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Tuning the universe, shuffling the deck, and sticking the landing.
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tender, then teeth. 18+
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🖼️ THE STORYBOARDS

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Cartoon illustration of gabro in a crowded, gritty bar on New Year’s Eve, holding a whiskey at the counter beside a smiling bartender and a dark-haired woman, while a cheering crowd and a performer on a small stage celebrate behind them under neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency,” with bold text overhead that says “New Year, New Me, Same Damn Demons – 2026.”
🖼️ THE STORYBOARDS
EP 41
v1.0.0
8 min
Laugh Tracks from Hell Poetry & Panic
Audio drop coming soon.

This STORYBOARD turns New Year’s in Vegas into a haunted glitter ritual, half prophecy, half relapse temptation, all neon teeth. Under the confetti, chaos, and fake “fresh start” energy, the real fight is not with the city, it is with the quieter demon of postponing yourself. gabro moves through the Strip like a beautifully irritated witness, clocking the lies, dodging old patterns, and getting dragged into a surreal barroom reckoning where his future self, or something like it, refuses to let him hide behind wit, delay, or polished self-protection. What lands hardest is not the spectacle, it is the dare. Stop negotiating with your gift. Stop shrinking your own voice. By midnight, the piece becomes less about becoming someone new and more about finally becoming fully, loudly, unapologetically yourself, with bite, with nerve, with teeth.

🎰 The Drop: This STORYBOARD had to be written for that ugly, familiar threshold where a new year pretends to offer salvation, but your old patterns are still waiting in full glam. It is about the exhaustion of almost becoming yourself, and the moment the fantasy finally cracks hard enough to say, enough. Record it. Say it. Stop hiding in “later.”
♠️ The Vibe: Confetti in the gutter. Bottle service as spiritual fraud. Neon lipstick on a nervous breakdown. The whole piece feels like Vegas holding up a cursed mirror, equal parts camp, bar-haunting, prophecy, and emotional roast session. It is loud, glittery, feral, funny, and weirdly sacred in the way only a city built on delusion can be when it accidentally tells the truth.
♦️ House Rules: Do not wait for a cleaner moment to become real. Your fear will always ask for one more delay, one more excuse, one more perfect version of you before you begin. Ignore it. Start messy. Start loud. Start tonight. The win is not becoming somebody else, it is refusing to abandon yourself again.
♣️ Dealer’s Note: The next track does not need permission, babe. Just a pulse, a mic, and the nerve to hit record.

PRESS PLAY ABOVE. ✦ DIM THE LIGHTS. ✦ ENTER THE STORYBOARD…
✦ ♠ ✦

New Year’s in Vegas is a ritual, not a date,
a glittery hostage situation dressed up as fate.
The Strip’s screaming “fresh start” with a bottle-service grin,
like it didn’t just spend twelve months teaching me how to sin.

It’s almost 2026, and the city’s in heat,
not temperature, babe, I mean messy, feral, and cheap.
Tourists arrive like “resolution” is a spell,
then immediately black out and start flirting with hell.

Cartoon illustration of gabro stands alone on a neon-lit casino street as confetti falls and partygoers in hats drink and laugh around him, a marquee reads “FRESH START BOTTLE SERVICE” and a sign says “ALMOST 2026.”

Downtown smells like perfume and poor impulse control,
like someone lit a candle labeled Unhealed for the soul.
There’s a man in sequins arguing with a traffic cone,
and a girl in a sash yelling, “I’M THE MAIN CHARACTER,” alone.

And me, I’m not festive, I’m clinically aware,
I’m a security camera that learned how to swear.
I’m wearing long sleeves, because hiding is my kink,
sunglasses on, because the world can’t have my blink.

Cartoon illustration of gabro standing with arms crossed on a foggy city street at night, surrounded by chaotic scenes, neon signs reading “Poor Impulse Control” and “Clinically Aware,” a woman shouting through a megaphone, and a candle labeled “Unhealed.”

Then my phone buzzes, like the devil wants brunch:
“Come out tonight.”
I say, “Bitch, I’m not falling for that ‘just one’ punch.”
They say, “Just one drink.”
I say, “That’s how it unfolds.”
One drink becomes three, back in that cycle, texting “I miss you” in bold.

So I compromise, ’cause I’m soft, and my discipline ran away,
and I walk into the Strip like, “Alright, universe, ruin me in a cute way.”
Devil’s Brunch is glowing, confetti everywhere like a trap,
and everyone’s preaching “growth!” while crying in the street with a vodka in their lap.

Cartoon illustration of gabro walking alone through a crowded party street at night, wearing sunglasses and looking down at his phone while people around him celebrate, drink, and cheer beneath neon signs and falling confetti.

“NEW YEAR NEW ME,” they scream, holding shots like a cross,
like accountability died and they sprinkled it with gloss.
A man in a fedora tells his friends he’s “reborn,”
then immediately catcalls a dealer like he’s proud to be worn.

I pass a club line that looks like a drought,
all thirst, no water, just vibes and clout.
The bass is so loud it’s bullying my bones,
and my nervous system files restraining order loans.

Cartoon illustration of gabro covering his ears while standing in a loud nightlife street, surrounded by clubs, speakers, cheering crowds, and flashing neon signs, conveying sensory overload and emotional isolation amid the chaos.

Then I see it, and I stop in my tracks,
because the universe loves a ridiculous attack:

A giant balloon arch shaped like a mouth,
with teeth made of glitter, like the city said, “Welcome, now bow.”
And under it, a banner, bold, hot, obscene:
KISS ME LIKE YOU OWE ME A THERAPY FEE.

I whisper, “Wow.”
Vegas whispers, “Yes.”
We lock eyes like enemies in sequined distress.

Cartoon illustration of gabro standing alone beneath a giant neon mouth arch reading “Kiss me like you owe me a therapy fee,” surrounded by partygoers, confetti, and casino lights at night, emphasizing contrast between celebration and personal introspection.

I duck into a dive bar to hide from the noise,
because my spirit is delicate, but my mouth is a toy.
Inside smells like tequila and unfinished apologies,
like somebody’s regret got a residency, honestly.

The bartender looks up like he’s seen my whole year,
like he can taste my boundaries and still keeps it sincere.
He says, “You look like you just dodged a bad decision.”
I say, “I dodged twelve, but they keep requesting revision.”

Cartoon illustration of gabro sitting at a dim bar while an older bartender pours him a drink, with neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency,” capturing a quiet, reflective moment inside a worn bar.

He slides me water first, like he knows I’m that bitch,
and I respect that move like a crotch with an itch.
Then he pours a drink that tastes like “fine, I’ll exist,”
and the glass sweats judgment like it’s keeping a list.

Around me, the crowd is the usual suspects:
A bachelorette sobbing. A gambler making threats.
A man explaining crypto like it’s a religion,
and a couple fighting softly like they planned it with precision.

Cartoon illustration of gabro leaning at a worn bar as a bartender pours a drink, with neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies,” “Regret’s Residency,” and “Lerfs,” while other patrons argue quietly in the background.

Then the DJ cuts the music, the room gets tense,
like something just shifted, like reality’s dense.
And the TV above the bar flickers twice,
and the bartender mutters, “Oh no,” like it’s advice.

Because the screen changes… no sports, no news,
just a live feed of the Strip, but… wrong hues.
The lights are too bright, the shadows too deep,
like the city is dreaming and refuses to sleep.

Cartoon illustration of gabro at a dimly lit bar, watching a bartender pour a drink while neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency” glow above, with tense conversations and worn walls emphasizing a heavy, reflective atmosphere.

And on the screen, dead center, I see my own face,
not me-me, but a version of me with more grace.
Still long sleeves, still shades, still mouth full of fight,
but standing on stage like I finally chose light.

The bartender looks at me like, “Don’t ask.”
I ask anyway, because I’m built for the task.

“What the fuck is that?”
He sighs. “A preview.”
I say, “Of what?”
He says, “Of you… when you stop playing small and start being true.”

Cartoon illustration of gabro arguing with a bartender across a worn bar, pointing emphatically while a drink sits between them, with neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency” glowing above tense patrons in the background.

I laugh, because that’s insane, and I’m not in the mood,
but the bar gets colder like it’s holding a feud.
The patrons go quiet, their faces go blank,
like they all got replaced by the same haunted rank.

Then somebody behind me whispers my name…
not loud, not creepy, just soft like a flame.

“gabro.”

Cartoon illustration of gabro standing at a dimly lit bar, turning back to look over his shoulder while an older bartender pours a drink, with neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency” and weary patrons scattered through the background, creating a tense, reflective late-night atmosphere.

I turn…

And there’s a woman in a velvet coat,
with eyeliner sharp enough to cut a boat.
She looks like trouble with a library card,
like a saint who learned sarcasm and got real hard.

She says, “Happy almost-2026.”
I say, “Who are you.”
She grins. “I’m the part of the year you didn’t fix.”

I blink, because rude.
She takes my seat,
crosses her legs like she owns my heartbeat.

She says, “You’ve been ‘waiting’ again.”
I say, “I’ve been planning.”
She says, “Baby, you’ve been hiding like fear is commanding.”

I bristle. “I’m not scared.”
She raises one brow.
“Then why does your talent live in ‘someday’ right now?”

Cartoon illustration of gabro standing at a worn bar with his arms crossed, wearing sunglasses and a dark suit, beside a woman seated on a barstool, while an older bartender pours a drink. Neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency” glow in the dim room, with tired patrons and empty glasses in the background, conveying a moody, late-night bar atmosphere.

I take a sip, and the drink tastes like truth,
and I hate it, because I prefer my denial with a tooth.
The velvet woman leans in, voice low, sweet, mean:
“New Year’s is a mirror. Don’t lie to it, queen.”

I say, “Don’t call me queen.”
She smirks. “Fine. Legend.”
Then she points at the TV like, “There’s your ending.”

On screen, the stage-version of me lifts a mic,
and the crowd goes wild like they finally got life.
The Strip lights flicker like the valley applauds,
and it’s so dramatic it feels like God’s.

Cartoon illustration of gabro standing at a dimly lit bar, wearing sunglasses and a dark suit, holding a drink while a woman beside him points toward the bartender. An older bartender stands behind the counter with a whiskey glass, neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency” glow overhead, and other patrons argue and drink in the background, creating a tense late-night bar scene.

I swallow hard. “This is bullshit.”
She nods. “Correct.”
“Vegas isn’t a city, it’s a test with glitter effects.”

Then the bartender, still calm, still wiping a glass,
says, “You can leave right now, or you can let it pass.”
I say, “Let what pass?”
He says, “The moment you stop negotiating with your own damn gift.”

The velvet woman snaps her fingers once, sharp, clean,
and the room shifts again like a new scene.
Suddenly every person in the bar looks… awake,
like they’re not drunk, they’re something you can’t fake.

Their eyes are soft, their faces familiar,
like people I loved, like fear’s greatest killer.
Like teachers, dealers, old friends, old me,
like the versions of me that didn’t get free.

Cartoon illustration of gabro at a worn bar counter, wearing sunglasses and a dark suit, holding a drink while a woman beside him leans in and points as she speaks. An older bartender wipes the counter behind the bar, neon signs reading “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency” glow overhead, and other patrons sit and argue in the background, creating a tense late-night bar atmosphere.

They don’t speak, they don’t judge, they just wait,
and my chest feels tight like it’s carrying weight.

Then somebody starts clapping, slow at first,
like a heartbeat learning to reverse its curse.

And the velvet woman says, “There. That’s your cue.”
I whisper, “For what?”
She says, “For you.”

So I stand up, because apparently I’m brave now,
and my knees are shaking like they filed a complaint, wow.
I walk toward the little stage that smells like spilled gin,
and the mic is on, because the universe loves to win.

Cartoon illustration of gabro at a bar with a dark-haired woman resting a hand on his shoulder, both facing a smiling bartender as other guests cheer beneath glowing neon signs in a moody, comic-style scene.

I tap it once.
The sound hits my teeth.
I say, “I hate all of you.”
The room laughs, like relief.

Then I start talking in rhyme, because why not,
and I tell my year like a punch in the gut shot:

I tell them about burnout, about fake-ass grace,
about smiling so hard my soul got replaced.
About saying “I’m fine” like it’s currency,
about letting strangers rent space in my nervous system, free.

I roast my own habits, my self-sabotage,
my “I’ll do it tomorrow” emotional mirage.
I drag my own fear like it owes me a check,
and the crowd keeps laughing like “Yes, babe, correct.”

Then I stop, mid-breath, and I don’t know why,
but I speak one line that feels like goodbye:

“2026, I’m done apologizing for existing out loud.”

Cartoon illustration of gabro inside a dim, gritty bar, leaning on a scratched wooden counter with a drink in hand while a bartender smiles nearby and patrons celebrate in the background.

And the bar erupts, like thunder in sequins, like the universe proud.
The TV flickers, the Strip on screen lights up,
and the velvet woman lifts her drink like, “Shut up.”

The bartender nods like, “Good.”
Like that’s it.
Like I passed the test and didn’t even cheat.

Then the clock hits midnight somewhere far away,
and the whole bar shakes like it heard what I say.
Confetti falls from the ceiling, but it’s not paper, it’s…
tiny little receipts that say “STOP SETTLING FOR THIS.”

I laugh so hard I almost choke,
because even the haunting is doing a joke.

The velvet woman stands, walks past me, slow,
and whispers, “Happy New Year. Now go.”

Cartoon illustration of gabro laughing at a worn bar counter as paper notes rain down around him, surrounded by cheering patrons under neon signs that read “Tequila & Apologies” and “Regret’s Residency.”

I blink, and the bar is normal again, loud, dumb, bright,
somebody screaming “WOOO,” somebody starting a fight.
The TV’s back to sports, the patrons are drunk,
the whole spell dissolves like it got punked.

I walk outside, and the Strip is still lying,
but I feel… lighter, like my fear stopped trying.
My phone buzzes once.

One new reminder.

“RECORD THE DAMN THING.”

Cartoon illustration of gabro standing on the Las Vegas Strip at night, smiling while holding a phone that reads “Reminder: record the damn thing,” with neon casinos, traffic, and a crowd behind him.

And for the first time in awhile, I don’t roll my eyes.
I just smile.

Because maybe 2026 isn’t just “new me.”

Maybe it’s just…
me, finally, with teeth.

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🍷 First Pour: December 29, 2025 🥀 Last Touch: April 25, 2026
🎭 Revues: Laugh Tracks from Hell•Poetry & Panic
🗝️ Motifs: 2026, adult humor, dark comedy, Las Vegas, New Year, New Year 2026, nightlife, satire, self-growth
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